Don’t believe me? Have doubts? Just ask Gabino Iglesias! Gabino @Gabino_Iglesias is a writer, book reviewer, photographer, editor, columnist AND has a PhD. Must be pretty smart to have recognized my cuteness ^.^

Upon inspection, I received the following review from smart Gabino, “Whiskers and eyebrows on point. 15/10.” Thank you! You’ve made a friend for life. Okay, Author says that’s enough now. Thanks for reading.

An author pet needs a routine just as much as their author does. Though we may drag our paws to begin one, I’m a firm believer in its importance. Upholding a routine keeps us on an even pace and prevents burnout. So, here are just a few things that you might want to include in your own schedule!

Breaks: It’s hard to stop when you’re caught up in the throes of inspiration, but rest is important. Breaks keep us from pushing ourselves beyond our limits and making life harder in the long run.

Food: While on break, why not grab yourself a snack? Your brain needs fuel to stay focused. It doesn’t always have to be healthy, but your more indulgent treats should be balanced with a healthy but yummy snack. Don’t forget to remind your author that you, too, need a treat to keep you going! No good work is done on an empty stomach.

Play: This one shouldn’t be too hard for any of us author pets. Play is a perfect way to get rid of restless energy that builds up from sitting all day. Take some time to relax and exercise! Maybe invite your author to join you when they seem extra fidgety.

Work: Of course it can’t be all play and no work. A routine is all about balance. With you and your author’s minds clear, make sure to get some actual writing done together. Offer to listen to them brainstorm, and maybe throw in a few of your own ideas.

Author care: Your author needs emotional support as well as your clever brain. Rub up against their legs, give them a cuddle, do something adorable, anything to keep their spirits up. And when they’re absorbed in their project, be sure to remind them when it’s time to take a break.

Self care: Between caring for your author, be sure to take time to yourself. Give yourself a good grooming, keep your creativity alive with daydreaming, or sharpen your skills with hunting practice.

Enough nap time: Keeping your author in check is exhausting! While they’re hard at work, you deserve a good sun-bathed nap until it’s time for your author’s next break. You might be able to convince your author to join you every now and then, but humans tend to be a bit weird about naps.

Schedule vacations. While these might be more spread out than the playtime or snacks, it’s important to remember vacations when you’ve done a lot of work. This can be anything from a small trip outside to an extravagant trip to the local fish market.

With these things balanced altogether, you have a recipe for success. Even when life gets difficult and you need an extra break or playtime session, it’s good to keep your routine in mind and stay on track. Now that my work here is done, please excuse me while I go meow at my author for a snack. 

Fanchon Lewellyn Salem Milos (or, FanLew,) was the inspiration for Lewis in my author’s Angels of Avalon series. His now passed friend Cinnamon, inspiration for Cheeto in Angels and Avalon, also had diabetes, so we aren’t unfamiliar with this particular struggle. As you can imagine, this is financially stressful as well as emotionally. If you would like to donate anything toward his medical expenses, you can do so via paypal at whiskers@whiskersreads.com.

I want to tell you a little bit about my brother.

FanLew looks like Toothless the dragon, with his slick black fur, thoughtful green eyes, and chipped fang. The resemblance only stops with his dapper white bowtie.

FanLew came to my author, Catherine, at nine months old. He had been badly injured, his fur was matted in litter, and he had an upper respiratory illness. Every day, my author sat with him in a steam-filled bathroom as he regained his strength. Over time, it became evident that little FanLew didn’t know how to be a cat. He ate when author ate, slept when she slept, and sat at the end of the shower while she showered. So, when I joined the family a few months later, I graciously took it upon myself to teach precious FanLew how to be a cat.

Now, at 11 years old, he is one of the most caring cats I’ve ever met. As the king of our little pride, he accepts new family members (cats, dogs, humans alike) with headbutts and cheekrubs. He loves when children come to visit and patiently watches over them.

He gives the most heartwarming hugs, especially to those who are grieving. His bedtime routine consists of cuddling Author to sleep before marching off on his nightly patrol of the house. We all feel safer knowing he is on the lookout.

While he is regal and kingly, we all have our silly sides. Remember the chipped fang I mentioned? FanLew loves chewing sticks and toys like it’s a battle to the death. The chip doesn’t cause him any pain, but it does give him the appearance of a battle-scarred warrior. His size only contributes to this visage. At eighteen pounds and three feet long, he can reach the top of the counter when he stands on his back legs. Of course, one could take this as a chance to bribe him to retrieve snacks but we would never commit such a naughty deed. I love my brother. He’s a gentle and kindhearted soul with a love for fun. It breaks my family’s hearts that he is suffering right now. Again, if you are interested in contributing to FanLew’s medical fund, you can do so via paypal at whiskers@whiskersreads.com. I thank you for your support, and for taking time to learn a little bit more about my beloved brother FanLew.

Science can explain most feelings like the warm fuzzies. Warm fuzzies, or oxytocin as humans call it, is the bonding hormone in humans and pets alike. It calms our anxiety (cold pricklies?) as we connect with each other. This connection is crucial for newborn kittens, but it works for human babies too. Resting a human baby against their parent’s chest raises their oxygen, which regulates their heart rate and promotes healthy growth.

Now, babies may be too loud and grabby for me, but I have experienced the power of a good cuddle. A few years ago, I fell ill with a bad stomach bug. I won’t go into detail but I felt disgusting, humiliated, and too weak to even clean myself. And yet, my author never left my side. She held me while she administered my medicine and cleaned my fur. Her unconditional love strengthened my resolve. Could I have recovered on medicine alone? Probably. But nothing could replace the presence of my favorite human. Having her there was as good as a healing purr. Sometimes, I think I can feel a purr deep-down in my author’s chest. I know that’s a bit silly since humans can’t really purr like us cats, but it felt true for me.

Being loved is essential to the physical and mental health of all living creatures. A good snuggle is the perfect way to show that love. If you’re not very social, that’s OK! It’s important to show yourself some love, too. Don’t tell anyone, but you can find me cuddling with my own toe beans in a warm patch of sun most days. So don’t be shy! Give yourself a little hug, sit atop your author’s chest, or boop their hand. It’s good for you.

My author already works from home, so life hasn’t changed much for us. She writes away, and I wait oh, so patiently for the attention to turn to me. But, I’m concerned for her. Author grows tired, and furrows her brow more than she writes. I’ve realized that us pets play a crucial role in this quarantine, and I will fulfill it to the best of my ability.

Of course, like any good leader, I have delegated a part to my brothers. I explained that the world isn’t safe for humans right now. It is of the utmost importance that we keep Author and Catdad home safe and sound. Night and day, my brothers patrol the perimeter and meow in alarm if anything tries getting in or out. They’re not sure what a “virus” looks like but they assure me, nothing of the sort could slip past them. Or so they say. I avert my eyes when they shirk their job for play.

With my brothers busy, I can focus on my primary job: providing comfort and support. Humans are such social creatures and they get itchy when they’re made to isolate. (Yes, even authors!) On the worst of days, I have a scientifically backed routine for care. I snuggle up into Author’s lap, gaze into her eyes, and purr. This slows her heart rate and reminds her to breathe. She relaxes and gives me head scratches.

I admit, from the outside, it doesn’t look like much. Being pampered isn’t exactly a chore, and I say there’s nothing wrong with that. The care of smaller creatures is fulfilling for humans. They provide for us and give warm cuddles. In return, we offer our affection and let them think they’re the alphas. It’s a symbiosis of the most wholesome kind.

And so fellow author pets, I urge you to come to the aid of your humans. Bring them comfort, give kisses, and sit in their lap, even if you don’t fit. Keep it covert, for the sake of their ego, but don’t be afraid to languish in the extra attention. What truly matters is that we show them love. We are their guardians, and it is our duty.

(Besides, they can reach the treats.)

On July 1, 2020, I attended the Author Pet Show! With Seanan McGuire, Fonda Lee, Annalee Newitz and more! Organized by Charlie Jane Anders and hosted by Maggie Tokuda-Hall.

I have to say, I’ve never been star-struck before by any pet or person, but this conference left me in awe. I may have fan-girled a bit.

There were a myriad of pets from axolotls to garbage cats. They all work hard to support famous and award-winning authors which left my to be read pile much larger. Together with their authors, these amazing pets helped raise funds for #WeLoveBookstores a local independent bookstore Comix Experience while showing off their many talents and revealing their super origin stories.

There were some real tear-jerkers like Chuck Wendig’s dog who had to have a collar removed surgically upon her rescue, Mallory O’Meara’s two cats Sailor and Lula rescued off the streets, and Mike Chen’s sweet River River who didn’t pass greyhound racing school.

There were some heart-warming stories including Meg Elison’s sweat elderly feline who lured a brawler street cat into the house and put her foot down with her less than 7lb self and her brother’s assistance. Way to prove that size doesn’t matter, it’s how sharp your claws are and how ferocious your spirit is. That street cat won’t be intruding on her territory again.

And the talent was amazing! The axolotl didn’t eat and then ran away from the earth worm expertly. River River holds her bladder for twelve hours so as not to interrupt her daytime nap. Tinkerbell the white fluffy feline wears beautiful fairy wings.

Let’s not forget the authors and their hard work. All these author pets must be doing all the right things because every author has won awards and written so many books! My author hasn’t won any awards, but that’s OK because I still love her.

The conference ran out of time, and I wasn’t able to get an answer to my question about how to be the best possible author pet like these ones. I’m sure one day I will crack the secret code for author pet success.

Until then, thank you for continuing to follow me on this journey.

Oh yeah. My author has some new books out in her series. Angels and Avalon is finally complete. I highly recommend Festivities and Familiars.

If you hear about any other great author pet opportunities, drop me a line!

Meow for now.

Whiskers

OK, so winter isn’t SO bad.

Snuggles

I have to admit that despite my many woes about winter, there are some worthwhile things for us author pets.

One of these includes more snuggles. If you can make it past the static shock, your authors likely move less and need warmth, so you have more opportunities for snuggles with them. We all know how good a snuggle can be for your health.

Not to mention, it helps your authors. Your authors may work better this winter knowing you are there to snuggle.

Night

Another good thing about winter, at least for nocturnal author pets and authors, is there is more nighttime with shorter days and longer nights. This means more time for writing and play, if you can stay hydrated and warm.

Heat vents

One of my favourite things about winter is the heat vents. During this time of year, the house dragon is going full blast with its hot breath. That warm air blasts heat much more often now that it’s an ice-covered wasteland outside. I’ve suggested to my author we should let the house dragon live upstairs with us, but my suggestions have yet to receive a response.

Couch time

Lots of couch time for your author mean lots more for you. This is one of the benefits of winter, as difficult as it can be to motivate your author off the couch for writing time. Because your author’s energy is sucked out of them during winter like the moisture out of your cells, they often have little energy to do much else than sit on the couch and stare at the picture box. This means you get more quality time with your author.

Food

Because you need more warmth, you need more food in the winter. Your author does to so you’ll be able to share snacks if they’re not too grumpy. You can also convince your author to feed you extra times because they’re too tired to notice they already fed you. Those tactics that no longer work to trick your author or pet-parents of the house can often be reused successfully during this time.

But, that’s about it for great things about winter. Why is it so cold? And dry? And Static-y? I can’t wait for spring.

They can get very sad if they don’t see the sun. I think it’s because their eyes can’t see the dark like us, and they don’t have enough fur to keep them properly warm normally. This likely compounds into feeling the cold more significantly than we do. Their bodies then have to try to warm themselves without a proper coat, and the extra energy normally used for living is put into shivering and keeping warm even indoors.

Your authors also share a need to hibernate, which they never answer. This leads to a constantly exhausted state resembling extended after-nap disorientation. Symptoms include irritability, snacking without sharing, staring at the television for longer times, and forgetting you’re in the room.

It can be hard to keep your authors on task due to the impacts of winter. To help motivate them, you can use static, share body heat, and remind them the only way you can move somewhere without winter is if they get writing.

Good luck, author pets, and may you survive this winter.

Cold. You can catch one because it’s all around you, always. You’re never warm enough, and you can get sick!

I don’t really understand how the cold that makes my bones ache can also give you a cold. But you can get a horrible, sniffly, sneezy, wheezy, not so breezy cold, too. This means your author has to give you medicines. You know how horrible medicines are, author pets.

While that type of cold has a cure, the other type that sits in your bones and bean toe pads doesn’t have a cure. There’s no amount of vent sitting, space heaters, soft and warm beds, or human body heat to make it go away. The only thing that cures that woe is the sun when it melts away the snow.
Make sure you help prevent colds for you and your author by moving somewhere warm and comfortably humid, like a sauna.

Good luck convincing your author. One way you could do this is by sitting on all the adds and words on their papers and books related to warmer climates until they get the hint.

At least you can warm up a bit from the cold. Please say a prayer for all our fellow ferals, strays, and non-pet animals out there in this cold. May they find the warmest warm spot of shelter and not have to come out until spring.

Snow. Snow. No! That’s right. Cold water that burns the beans. How does cold burn anyway? It doesn’t make sense.

Snow falls from the skies during winter and builds up on the ground. This prevents you from comfortably going outside the home.

I didn’t believe my author when she told me it was too cold to go out. No, I had to see for myself the barren, frigid tundra the world outside my door had to become. I took four pawsteps out the door and tailed it right back in.
How can I find any greenery to chew for my regular detox routine with that snow in the way? The answer is I can’t. That’s right. Snow turns you into a prisoner and takes the simple joys out of life.

You could try to accessorize with booties, coats, hats, and tail warmers, but let’s be real here, we’re above that. This, dear author pets, is something I don’t have a solution for. The gods don’t listen to my meows and silent protests. Believe me, every year I try.

I guess it’s shiny is about the only good thing?